he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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