Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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