it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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