Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
