i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
