Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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