Yo dont text me then not text me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
