The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
