I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
