Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize