o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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