Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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