I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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