Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize