on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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