I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
