I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
