I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
