Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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