there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
