I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
