You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize