I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
