He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It's just like the Real World with babies
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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