Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I need moral support for this bender
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
