i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
