the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
