i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
