so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
