Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize