My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
ttyl tear gas
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
