Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My life is pants optional.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
