Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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