I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
