Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
