the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
