it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
