Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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