What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
