Soap is not a condiment
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
