Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
