Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
zippers are such a cool invention
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
