If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
