in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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