Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
