I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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