Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
only if we run a train.
done.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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