i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
