the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
