Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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