Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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