Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
