In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
