i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
