recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's just like the Real World with babies
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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