READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
