Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
