How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
soo... how was my night?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
