Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
