i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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