Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
