I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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