She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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