So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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