Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I puked a lego.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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