Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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