i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
