Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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