you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
