Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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