These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I can't put those talents on a resume
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
