You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
