i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
