Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
