It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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