let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
do herpes really smell.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
