too bad you live with your parents still
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
