so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
