did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
